13 Years Ago
Filed under: Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, Leading a Balanced Life
Thirteen years ago Alvin and I moved into the home we live in now. The ward we belonged to has turned out to be the most astounding group of people whom we have come to love and adore over the years of our acquaintance and friendship.
I was called to be the Young Women President within a month of our marriage. I was professional, young and apparently “hip,” according to the girls. I wouldn’t ever have classified myself as such, but there you have it . . . me . . . hip.
There were two particular girls, seniors, who were having personality conflicts with some of the people in the Young Women organization. They decided to give me one chance, on the day I was called and sustained, before leaving for good.
I stood that Sunday and bore my testimony of Jesus Christ, His Restored Gospel and the Book of Mormon as a second witness of Jesus Christ. I talked of how my study of the New Testament had led me to seeking my testimony and confirmation of the principles and precepts I’d been taught growing up. I spoke of the beauty of eternal marriage and having my family around me throughout the eternities. But most of all I spoke of how happy I was to be called as the Young Women President and was looking forward to getting to know each and every one of the girls.
Rosa and Tara became frequent visitors in our home. Alvin and I came to love them so deeply. Rosa eventually moved in with us before finally taking the leap and moving out on her own. Tara married a wonderful man who joined the military. They were stationed in Turkey and then ended up stateside before her husband was shipped out again, to Iraq.
Tara became my visiting teacher and I was privileged to get know her better, as a grown woman, wife and mother. She has grown into a marvelous woman, with a firm grasp of the gospel and an iron strength typical of military wives.
A few months ago, really probably about 8 to 10 weeks, Alvin was rushed to the hospital with yet another infection which threatened his life. He spent three days in ICU before they moved him to a regular floor. During that time Tara came to visit and she learned we’d lost the donor we thought was going to give Alvin a kidney. She asked me more questions and as we were walking down the halls of the hospital she asked what blood type Alvin was . . . I responded.
“That’s my blood type. I’ll give Alvin my kidney.”
I was shocked, stunned . . . really, my head was reeling because of the suddenness. Although I knew the chance of her being a match was slim to none, I gave her the transplant coordinator’s phone number. Three weeks later we received the call, Tara was a match! Now, on April 15th, as mentioned in a previous post, Tara will be giving a kidney to my husband.
I have paused to reflect over the last thirteen years and all the interactions between Tara, Alvin and me. I shudder to think, had we been condescending, arrogant, impatient or obnoxious at any given time in the last decade would be arriving at this moment today?
An age-old lesson applies here, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Never could I have imagined that Tara, with her husband in Baghdad, would one day be the one who would save Alvin’s life. I can certainly say this much, we are forever indebted in gratitude to her for the astounding gift of life she has given him. Because of her Alvin will be able to live free of dialysis and all that comes with it.
May God open the windows of heaven and pour them out upon this little family that they may be protected and blessed beyond their wildest imagination.
Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen?
Filed under: Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, Jesus Christ, Leading a Balanced Life, Plan of Salvation
It’s a common question asked amongst the good people of the world, no matter your religion, race or creed: “Why does God let bad things happen?”
No one, and I mean no one, escapes suffering in this phase of our eternal existence we call mortality or life. It’s just the way it is. We came from heaven, known as premortality, determined to do our best, to prove to our Heavenly Father that we could be more like Him and His Son, Jesus Christ.
In heaven we were given the opportunity to make a choice. We could follow Heavenly Father’s plan or we could follow Satan’s. By virtue of your physical existence, you chose Heavenly Father’s. The sticking point between the two plans? Free Agency.
Satan wanted to force us to live righteously and return every single one of us to Heavenly Father with no growth whatsoever, simply subjugated, dominated and uneducated.
Heavenly Father’s plan included allowing us to choose for ourselves if we wanted to follow Him or turn our backs on Him and walk away. But He refused to force us. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, as our Savior and Redeemer, to insure we would have a way to return home, whom President Thomas S. Monson, the living prophet of God, calls the Master Bridge Builder. Jesus Christ provided us bridges of obedience, service and prayer. In utilizing these bridges in mortality we are brought ever closer to our heavenly home.
In following Heavenly Father’s plan we have been given the freedom to become more like Him or the freedom to choose to follow Satan to his fiery eternal destination.
Satan and his minions were cast out of heaven for rebellion against God the Eternal Father. (Revelations 12) He holds a grudge unlike anyone you have ever met since you were born on this earth. He wants every single one of us to fail. You have something he does not, a physical body and a chance at eternal life. He has nothing but his bitterness, anger and everlasting greed and bitterness to bring us all down.
So, there are several reasons why bad things happen:
1. Choices. If you choose to become addicted to drugs and involve yourself in the continual feeding of the habit you WILL eventually rob, permanently maim or murder another human being in order feed that habit. This can often spill over to innocent human beings who had nothing to do with your choices. But your choices never effect only you. They always, always effect at least one other person if not more.
2. Bad things that happen can be turned around if we seek help from our Heavenly Father. Indeed, our Father in Heaven will never rob us of our free agency on this earth. But He cannot, nor will He, protect us from the consequences of our actions. But if we turn to Him, He will strengthen us to survive, possibly overcome, if we are willing turn to Him permanently and remember who we are.
3. Sometimes trials are given to us to make us stronger. Indeed, if we lose the “woe is me” attitude along with the “why me, why me” questions and simply ask “what would You have me learn,” then these trials become something which refine us into stronger, purer servants of God, much as gold is refined through the fires of forge, so too are we through the fires of our trials.
We have proof of a loving God, because if we turn to Him in times of unspeakable pain and horror we are given strength, comfort and peace to come this horrible time, even if it was caused by another’s actions.
Jesus, the Bridge Builder, spanned that vast chasm we call death. “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.” (1 Corinthians 15:22) He did for us what we could not do for ourselves; hence, humankind can cross the bridges He built—into life eternal.
I close by paraphrasing the poem “The Bridge Builder”:
“You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide—
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?”
“There followeth after me today
A vast throng whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
To that great throng may a pitfall be.
They too must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for them.”(Thomas S. Monson, “The Master Bridge Builder,” Ensign, Jan 2008, 4–9)
Indeed, regardless of our circumstances in life or the horrible things which occur around the world, we are children of a loving Heavenly Father who allows each of us the freedom to be a savior or murderer of His children, you and me. The consequences of each are great . . . I’ll leave it to you to figure out which set of consequences is preferable.
Developing Our God-given Talents
Filed under: Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, Leading a Balanced Life, Plan of Salvation
Each of us comes into this world with gifts, talents and skills. Society holds the actress/actor, singer, writer, athlete or politician high as a standard of talent which has been groomed and perfected. But there are other talents, not as evident, which are of greater value in the world.
God gave all His children talents that, if developed and utilized properly, will aid Him in bringing all the children of God back home . . . where He anxiously awaits our return.
In the book of Matthew we read of a group of men who were given the same number of talents and then we learn what each did. Some grew their talents, others buried them in the earth to protect them. Guess which ones the Master was happiest with? Oh yes, the one who grew his talents. Equate those with the talents you have been given.
Have you the gift of listening? Caring? Loving? Learning? Teaching? Preaching the word of God? There are untold and unheralded numbers of talents in the world. Perhaps you may have the gift of looking out at the world and seeing her majestic mountains, her jungles teeming with life, her desert sands with rock formations rising high above, all the earth with her many beauties. It is possible you have the gift of seeing beyond the wars, rumors of wars, crime, poverty, illness and sorrow to the eternities which we are reminded of in the smile of a baby. The more overt gifts were mentioned at the beginning. But these subtler gifts are the glue that holds society together.
If you pull them into your heart, never sharing these marvelous gifts, you will be as the one who buried his talent. Elder Ronald A. Rasband, of the Seventy, said:
Every person comes to earth as a unique individual. Similar threads may run in families, but each of us has a tapestry all our own. Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote: “Each person in this life is endowed with those talents and capacities which his pre-earth life entitle him to receive. Some by obedience to law acquired one talent and some another.” (Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. (1966–73), 1:688)
The Lord made it clear that it is not good enough for us simply to return to Him the talents He has given us. We are to improve upon and add to our talents. He has promised that if we multiply our talents we will receive eternal joy.
In modern revelation the Lord affirmed the principles in this parable: “But with some I am not well pleased, for … they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man. … Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known.” (D&C 60:2, 13) – (Ronald A. Rasband, “Parables of Jesus: The Parable of the Talents,” Ensign, Aug 2003, 32–35)
We, as the children of God, were sent to earth to grow. We grow by developing the skills and talents given us by God in order that we might help others to develop their talents and remember who they are.
Learn what yours are, develop them until you have become the master of those talents and then use them to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the world. Above all, acknowledge Jesus Christ in your successes, for all our talents and abilities come from God. As you do so, the day will arrive where you too will hear, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”
Becoming Who I Am Meant To Be
I was born in San Diego, California in 1963. Through the course of my life I have always had a deep love of the written word, particularly the scriptures. A promise in my patriarchal blessing states:
“Because of your taking advantage of every opportunity you have in the Church to gain experience and to learn the lessons of life, and because you have filled your mind with knowledge from the Standard Works of the Church, you will be ready with an answer for those who are honest in heart.“
We have been cautioned to not allow anyone but family members to read our patriarchal blessings as they are deeply sacred and personal in nature. But I feel comfortable sharing this one paragraph because it helps to illustrate my point.
I am a daughter of God. You are a son or daughter of God. Nothing we say or do will ever change that. But we are intended to return to our Father in Heaven in glory, not in shame. To this end, I have devoted my life to learning more about the gospel from every reliable source I could find. I have studied the words of ancient and modern prophets and apostles. I read and prayed about the words of trusted theologians. I have tried to serve my fellow man and live a more Christlike life. And through it all, my testimony has grown so strong that I am as certain as anyone can be that we have a loving Heavenly Father who has given us every necessary tool to return to him.
My interest in writing began when I was eleven. So I took every class I could, took private instruction from writers who would teach, majored in Creative Writing in college . . . everything I could do to develop my skills as a writer. And yet, it was years of pondering and prayer before I truly understood my mission in life.
You see, our Heavenly Father sent each one of us to this earth with a purpose and specific missions to accomplish. It took a number of years before I understood mine. Once I did, I endeavored to do all I could to accomplish that mission. As I have done so, others have been revealed to me. And so I continue on, every day, attempting to live my life in such a fashion that I am able serve Him as He intends.
My parents did such a fantastic job of raising me. With eleven other children, it wasn’t always the easiest thing for them. And yet there was never a doubt in my mind that their testimonies of Jesus Christ and His gospel were strong and unassailable. They taught us the gospel with every action and every night as we read the scriptures. My mother has a huge library which was a constant source of knowledge growing up. No matter why I called her, she had the answer or she found it within minutes. My parents are a large part of why I am who I am today.
My sweet husband has been a constant and loving companion. He makes me want to be a better person because of the kind of person he is. Together we continue our study of the gospel, attend church weekly and pray often. We date, we love, we support, we encourage each other to be the best we can be.
I am becoming who the Lord intending me to be. A strong, valiant daughter of God willing to stand and testify of the divinity of Jesus Christ and the truthfulness of His gospel. I want to be so much better than I am. The happiness I find in my heart and spirit is the knowledge of who I am as a daughter of God. I attempt to balance my life properly so that I am the best servant of the Lord I can possibly be . . . and this is what I ask you –
Are you becoming who you are meant to be?
Mormon Persistance and Determination
Mormons are an industrious people. From the very beginning of earthly time, God encouraged Adam to take care of the Garden of Eden and the animals which resided inside it. Everything God is about is self-improvement. He wants us to learn, to grow and to become the spiritual giants He knows we can be.
President Heber J. Grant, the 7th called prophet, seer and revelator in this modern age, was known for his determination and persistence.
“When I joined a baseball club, the boys of my own age, and a little older, played in the first nine, those younger than myself played in the second, and those still younger in the third, and I played with them. One of the reasons for this was that I could not throw the ball from one base to the other; another reason was that I lacked physical strength to run or bat well. When I picked up a ball, the boys would generally shout, ‘Throw it here, sissy!’ So much fun was engendered on my account by my youthful companions that I solemnly vowed that I would play baseball in the nine that would win the championship of the Territory of Utah.
“My mother was keeping boarders at the time for a living, and I shined their boots until I saved a dollar, which I invested in a baseball. I spent hours and hours throwing the ball at a neighbor’s barn, (Edwin D. Woolley’s,) which caused him to refer to me as the laziest boy in the Thirteenth Ward. Often my arm would ache so that I could scarcely go to sleep at night. But I kept on practicing, and finally succeeded in getting into the second nine of our club. Subsequently I joined a better club, and eventually played in the nine that won the championship of the Territory. Having thus made good my promise to myself, I retired from the baseball arena.”
President Grant later acknowledged that he had “partially wasted” the “hours and days and weeks and months” he had spent throwing a baseball against his neighbor’s barn. He said: “I am impressed with the thought that I was not … engaged in the highest employment of which my nature was capable. … There was one thing, however, accomplished by my experience as a ball player, namely, the fulfilling of a promise made to myself.” (“Chapter 4: Persistence,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant, 33)
President Grant was known for taking on anything he was not accomplished at and working at it until he perfected it. What did this prophet of God teach us, not only in word but in action as well? Persistence pays off. He believed we could accomplish anything we put our minds to . . . I happen to agree with him, completely.
I love to sing. I have a nice voice. Carrie Underwood has nothing to fear from me, but I have a nice voice. Problem is, I find musical notes to be a little elusive at times. So when I want to sing a song I have to learn it and then listen to it over and over, then sing it over and over and over until I have all the notes and intervals memorized. Once I have that accomplished, people think I come by it naturally. They don’t believe me when I tell them I have to really, really work at singing.
We were put on this earth to perfect ourselves and that includes our talents and gifts, which God gave us in order to accomplish the purposes for which He sent us. Let’s take the Osmonds for instance.
The Osmonds are hugely famous for their musical and entertaining skills and talents. Marie is shining on Dancing with the Stars, rehearsing hours upon hours every day to learn the two new dances and routines every week. This is not new to her or any other Osmond. From the time they began performing, rehearsal until it was perfect was their way of life. They became known as “one-take Osmonds.” They became the tops in the music industry by being persistent.
Athletes must practice, practice and then practice some more in order to become the best at what they do, be it football, basketball, baseball, hockey or any other sport. They cannot just walk on to the field, court, diamond or ice and instantly excel at what they do. They have to learn the rules of the game, master the techniques of the sport and then practice until it becomes second nature. They have to learn how to take direction from their coaches . . . they become the best by being persistent.
By the same token, one who wishes to truly follow Jesus Christ must take up at that mantle and settle it comfortable on their shoulders. What does Jesus Christ want of us?
For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)
– and –
Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. (2 Nephi 2:25)
Jesus Christ wants us to be happy. He wants us to excel. He wants us to live the commandments, abide by the principles, precepts and practices of the gospel. He wants us to be free of bondage of all types. Most of all, in living and exhibiting the charitable lifestyle of Jesus Christ we become a better, more loving people who reach out to others struggling, pull them to their feet and help them on their way.
President Grant said,
Trustworthiness, stick-to-it-iveness, and determination are the qualities that will help you to win the battle of life. (“Chapter 4: Persistence,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant, 33)
It really is as simple as that. Do not settle for where you are right now. Sit down, map out your hopes, dreams and fears. Foster those hopes, reach for those dreams and crush those fears. God wants you to be all that you can possibly be . . . for with Him, nothing is impossible.
Filling the Well Within
Filling the well within is an interesting concept. Some people take it to the extreme, others don’t do it all. Like everything else Jesus Christ taught us, balance is critical to being a worthwhile servant of God.
In the situation with Mary and Martha, the Savior taught us a valuable lesson:
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:38-42)
The Lord is not encouraging Mary and Martha to eschew all their reseponsibilities and duties, but is reminding Martha that there is a time to stop and listen, to fill the well within. Mary chose to sit at the feet of her Savior and listen rather than clean and cook.
How should we apply this in our day? Several years ago I was stretched to the limit. I worked full time, had just suffered another miscarriage, was the Young Women’s President (the leader of the Young Womens organization which includes teenage girls from age 12 to 17) a new wife and mother to a teenage boy (my husband’s youngest brother.) Stressed beyond all belief I no longer had time for the things I enjoyed. No gardening, no cross stitch, no reading, no movies, no dates with my husband, no football games, no trips to the temple. It was all about work, home and church, that was it.
At one point I came home from work and kissed my husband goodbye as he left for work. I walked upstairs to the kitchen table and sat down . . . and stayed there. Five minutes later my husband walked back in the door. Surprised, I looked down at him.
“The Spirit whispered to me to return home and give you the blessing you need.” He promptly walked up the stairs, laid his hands on my head and through the power of the Holy Melchizedek priesthood he held, he offered me the blessing the Lord had in mind.
Specifically, I was told that I had to take time for myself. I had to time for gardening, for cross stitch, for football games, for temple attendance . . . all the things that gave me joy. The Lord said that I was of little use to Him if I was so strung out I couldn’t accomplish anything with any of my responsibilities. He reminded me that balance in all things is required and that above all, my happiness was critical to Him.
This taught me a powerful lesson. We must take the time to pause and fill the well within. Should you abandon your family on a daily basis to fill the well? No, of course not. But take time to drive up the canyon and visit your favorite spot in the mountains. Take time to go to lunch with family or friends. Take time to go on a weekly date with your spouse. Take time to do that which fills your spirit. For when your spirit is filled the Savior can do so much with you, for you and in spite of you.
So be as Mary of old, kneel at the feet of the Savior and let yourself be fed. And also be as Martha of old, keeping to your responsibilities, but not so much so that all that brightens your life is strangled out of it.